Resilience and Positivity

Yesterday was a difficult day. My husband was told that his cancer had returned. Devastating news after radical surgery, chemo and radiotherapy. But this isn’t a blog about how awful life can be, it’s about strength and being positive. Leaving good memories of ourselves for other people. That’s what my husband believes, and do you know what, after half a life of looking at a half empty glass, I see how much water is left in it, and how precious that liquid is.

It’s mindset. How you think about things. We are shaped by our experiences in life from a young age, and with everything that is wrong with the world it’s easy to be negative, to feel the unknown forces working against us, singling you out for good load of the brown stuff. Sometimes when something happens, it’s just because it happens. Some things aren’t meant to be, like that sunshine wedding, Christmas without a bust up, keeping all of your limbs, or seeing your grandchildren born.

Positivity is a skill. It’s about stepping back from that moment, not allowing the darkness to envelope you, because these moments define you. Yes, feel the pain. It hurts, all of the things you were going to do, next year, the year after, in ten years, gone to dust.

But this is now, and what you do with now is what counts. Be yourself. You are strong. Respect others. Accept what can’t be and be the best that you can be.

After the hospital appointment we walked a long way, ate ice cream, talked, not about dying, but about living. Vacuum packing together all the things we can do while we still have each other. We have a plan. Unfortunately, the healthy eating part went when I bought chocolate muffins from Greggs on the way back, but what the heck.

Do that thing you want to do.

I was going to put this in my journal, keep it locked away, but I looked at all the other people coming out of St James Hospital, old, young, couples, alone, and know we are not unique in this situation. And it’s not just about cancer, it’s about illness, loss, mental health, anything that impacts.

With every positive breath you take you will build resilience, and that strength brings more positivity. What better way to face each day.

Below are links to a few of the organisations that support.

After the ice-cream